What No One Tells you About Your First Real Relationship

What No One Tells you About Your First Real Relationship

Your first real relationship may be when you are 17, or when you are 25. Your first real relationship might be the first of many, or it may be with the person you spend the rest of your life with. There is no real way to know what will happen ahead of time, or how a relationship will turn out in the long run. Relationships can be scary, even when they are going very well. Every relationship is different and faces distinct challenges.

There are lots of aspects of relationships that no one tells you about or prepares you for. You might be caught by surprise after a few months of your relationship by something that happens. However, have no fear, that is why we are here! We have put together a list of totally normal happenings in most kinds of relationships that you may have not seen coming. If your first real relationship is not exactly what you expected it to be, that’s alright. No couple is perfect, even if they appear to be on Instagram.

1. It is normal not to know if he is right for you. You might feel bad about questioning your relationship because you WANT it to be perfect. The honest truth is that most people question their relationship at some point. It isn’t good to compare relationships, but it happens. If you are doubting yourself or your partner, you are not the only one. If he isn’t the one for you, that’s fine. There is nothing to feel guilty about and questioning your relationship is NORMAL.

2. You might experience wanting to be with others. If you are dancing with someone at a bar or if a cute boy texts you, you might wonder what it would be like to be with him, rather than the guy you are dating. It happens to everyone. However, it is important to remember that you have a commitment to the boy you are with and it would be wrong to go against his trust. However, thinking someone is cute is not illegal!

3. Sometimes serious relationships can feel boring. Especially once you and your partner are out of the honeymoon phase, it might feel like you have hit a wall. This is completely normal and happens in lots of relationships. However, it is not true! There are always new places to go, new restaurants to try and new things to talk about. Being bored with something just means you haven’t tried something new together in a while. Go out and see the world.

4. It’s not always going to be about you. While your partner will be there for you in your hardest moments, the same is expected of you. Guys can be sad and emotional too, and you as his girlfriend should be there for him just as much as he is for you. This can be a shock to a lot of girls, but guys are people too and they need support just like we do. Your boyfriend will express himself with you the same way you do.

5. It’s fine to go to bed angry sometimes. People might tell you that in a healthy relationship you should never be angry with your partner at the end of the day. This isn’t the case and it isn’t reality. Sometimes you need to go to bed angry so that you can sleep off whatever you are feeling and start fresh the next day. You might not want to make up before you go to sleep and that is FINE.

6. There might be aspects of your relationship or partner that bother you and that is NORMAL. Nobody’s perfect and just like your brother might bother you, the same goes for your boyfriend. If he clicks his pen too much or taps his foot all the time and it bothers you, tell him. It is fine that some aspects of who he is get on your nerve. Tell him nicely what bothers you so that he can work on it. It is better to do this early in the relationship so that it doesn’t bother you for such a long time. The love of your life might not be a prince in shining armour who does nothing wrong because no one is perfect. Everyone has annoying quirks, and it’s just about learning to deal with them or change them.

7. Arguments are normal and they are going to happen. It is not healthy to fight all the time about silly things but just like in friendships, arguments are inevitable. You will argue about things that feel small and silly because you care about one another. It happens. There is no way to prepare yourself for an argument but if you are in a serious relationship, there are plenty of silly arguments to come. Again, no couple is perfect.

8. You can take time for yourself. Being in your first real relationship feels like a whirlwind of emotions and you will spend a lot of quality time together. If your partner always wants to hang out and you just need a day to breathe and have time to see your friends, that is fine. You are not obligated to see him every single day and you should not feel bad about telling him that you need some space. “Taking space” should not even be a big deal if he is the right one for you. If you need a day off from seeing him, he should understand. Take time for yourself because ultimately it is better for you and for the wellbeing of your relationship. Take time to reflect on your relationship and have some time to do what you want to do without him.